I've been making writing the way to make money for the last 5 years. I did magazines, websites, even company profiles. But to say that I'm an accomplished writer or just a writer for that matter is far from the real truth. At least for me.
I write things that people want to read. That is what I write for all of those publications. Only few that I'm genuinely proud of and most of them are my early work for the first magazine I've ever worked for. The rest, well, I wrote them with both my hands and mind, but not passion. I'm thankful that I can make a living out of writing, eventhough I'm not writing the things I really want to write.
For years and years I have been writing poetry and short stories. Both I am really passionate about, but never shared with the world. I do not have the courage and self esteem to do so. Or maybe I just don't want to get rejected. They are good enough for me, but I do not know if they are good enough for other people (besides my mom).
A few days ago I signed myself up for an opportunity to get published in a compilation book of short stories. I need to write 2-3 stories and send them to the publication company. They then will decide if I am good enough to be in that book. The deadline is March 1st, 2011. I am sick to my stomach every time I think about this. It's the kind of pressure I've never encountered before. This will be the first real moment for me to get accepted or rejected.
I have started working on the first story. It is still really premature to see where the story is going, because, as always, I don't really have a plot. I am used to letting my hands and heart do the writing.
Please pray for me. Thank you.